Be Aware of the Mother-In-Law:Words can bite!

marriage; relationships; wife; husband; in-laws; mother in law ...

Well, this will be an exciting blog. It is me, and my coffee at 4:00 am during our week of COVID-19 quarantine. I have nothing but time to walk down the memory lane and reflect on my relationship with the MIL.

Perhaps I am over exaggerating, but I firmly believe that my Mother-in-Law’s Soul’s purpose in life is to annoy me!

STOP insulting my cooking skills. Just because it is not your traditional homemade dish, it does not mean I can not cook. Unlike your’s my Soul’s purpose in life is not to feed your Son homemade food every day. Sometimes cheerios will do. Same with scrambled and even rotten eggs for dinner. Truthfully it is none of the MIL’s business. My two favorite food-related MIL sentences that bite:

  1.     I rather eat sour grapes than a food that you cooked!
  2.     She has a new recipe all right; it is one for trouble.

15 years later, this is how my wiser and stronger self deals with this food insults: I lie and tell the MIL that her Son prepared the meal. Of course, now every dish is just delicious and perfect! After all, who cares, right?

STOP trying to make your Son look like He is God’s gift on earth, while I am a nobody. I never changed my name after we got married. It was a well-thought decision and one that I am proud of. After all, it was me who attended years of school to attain a professional degree. Why would I change my name and be Called Dr. B____ instead of my own name? It is my legacy, not his.  

That decision did not resonate well with the MIL. It was probably the root of all problems. For the jealous MIL, this became a constant battle of one-upping me. Instead of being proud of my accomplishments, she started to insult me. She used words that were hurtful and made me feel ashamed and excluded.  Here is a link that can be helpful in case one wants to learn how words can hurt. https://www.handsfreemama.com/2016/11/15/an-empowering-way-to-respond-to-hurtful-people/

MIL Words that bite: 

  1. What’s the point of you being a doctor, if you can not even cook or clean the house! 

                 (duh, the point is that I can afford to have a maid and eat out!) 

      2.   I don’t care about you and your background, My SON still makes

           more money than you. So He is the Boss!     

                    ( In your dreams, your Son is the Boss!)

I have a son, and perhaps one day I will be the crazy MIL. 

As A MIL, I pledge to honor, respect and encourage my future-daughter in law. Whomever she may be.

I can’t help but remember this song. Hope you enjoy it.My Life or Yours? Pair

 

IMG_1842

Hurtful words are unnecessary None of your business.

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